Ode to Sausage Roll

Today you were brought to me by a Rose

You tasted bad for me but I ate you anyway

By bad for me I really mean very very good

The bag you came in is now a little bit see-through

I thought about primary school canteens and rainy days while I was eating you

I thought about that pump class I did yesterday and how it totally justifies eating you now and also because I went to have muesli but I had only a spoonful left and the other muesli I bought is still at home.

So really, I HAD to have you or I would die of hunger

I thought about how you will probably give me heartburn later and about how if pastry was just a food on it’s own that I would just eat that.

You are gone now.

I made the most of you

Three small bites out of your tail end when I could have just had one bite. I made you count.

Your crumbs were in the see-through bag. I should have screwed them up with the bag but instead I tipped the bag up and slid your fatty golden brown slivers into my open mouth.

I know how to treat you.

All that remains of you now are the specs of pastry on my face and the bits in my scarf. 

Don’t worry, I won’t shake them out for at least another 15 minutes when they start to bug me.

I spoke too soon little sausage roll, the front desk needed attending – your remains were hastily brushed from my face and violently shaken from my scarf in order to talk to the DHL man (who, by the way looks a little tired and unkempt today – I suspect a relationship issue).

It’s my job, sausage roll. I’m not sorry I wanted to look presentable.

I am sorry you are gone though.

I will only ever think of you fondly.

Goodbye SR.


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