Tag Archives: career

Requested topic: One thing in my life I haven’t mastered (and would like to)

Thanks to Paper and Lace, here is a small blog on the above topic:

Can I pick more than one thing? There are things about my personality I wish I could better: thinking too much, being less bitter and judgmental  being more accepting of others (to name a  few) – but as it’s hard to master a personality trait as such, maybe I’ll stick with something more tangible. My personality is a constant work in progress, as I’m sure we all are. Unless you’re perfect already – then well done! I’m probably not likely to be friends with you, you’re probably not likely to be reading this…

I digress.

The one thing in my life I haven’t mastered (and would like to) is: Cooking. I LOVE to cook. I love to cook for myself, I love to cook for others, I love to cook for the wider masses and for just my husband. I love to see a face scrunch up in delight and hear the sound of “mmmmmm” after a bite of something I cooked. I love the multi-tasking, the process, the instructions and the room for a touch of my input, seeing a bunch of things be made into one. I even secretly like the cleaning up – seeing something go from messy dirty to squeaky clean is a bit satisfying for me. 

I have worked in hospitality but wasn’t that into cooking, it’s slowly progressed into a passion in the last few years. I learned I was actually quite good at it and that sharing food with someone is heart warming and makes me feel wanted and included and fuzzy inside. And I’m not so great at the small talk, it makes me feel like I’m lying or something, so when I throw a dinner party it’s nice to have an excuse to not be talking to people because I’m busy in the kitchen. I like the company and the banter that happens around the table because it’s more comfortable, natural and genuine than the small talky portion of the evening. I skip that part by hiding in the kitchen and sending husband out to be hostess with the mostest.

I am a basic home cook, there are things I can do really well and favour mine over others I’ve tried, but I am not amazing. By no stretch of the imagination. I would like to be close to amazing but I know I need formal training. I can’t wait to have the sharpest of knives and an apron and a few different sized whisks. I look forward to confidently knowing all the different techniques of cutting and slicing and being able to do it with speed. I want to be able to make many kinds of sauces with the basic of knowledge. But most of all, I look forward to doing something for a living that I truly enjoy. I want to master the art of cooking in order to work for myself because at the end of the day, I am not a follower, I am a leader. I want to be my own boss and have a go at being accountable for everything. I want to at least try to successfully run a business.

I want to master cooking.

Every two years

Yesterday I was having a chat with my oldest and dearest friend, Stacey, and she pointed out that she had nearly been at her job for two years. My reply was “wow, that’s flown by!” followed up by “I’ve never done anything for two years”. She said “you travelled for two years”. But technically, I didn’t. I “travelled” for about two months – hopping from place to place on my scrumptious, saved up Australian dollar. Travelling, for me, is when you don’t spend more than two weeks in one place. Or, you go to a place with the intention to move on after a short period of time, less than six months. For me, this intention stopped when I met Scott; the now husband.

I had planned on going from the UK to Europe to the UK, to New York, through America to Canada for a year – Vancouver for six months, Toronto the other six months, with a road trip through Canada on the way. Then onto South America or India and Sri Lanka, onto South East Asia and back to New Zealand to study Acting for Screen and Theatre. This of course didn’t pan out as I fell in love in Vancouver and that became my main focus. Which was absolutely fine, things change. And I always said I would only ever stay in one place if I found love. Awwww…..

Anyway…The point is, I have never done anything for more than two years. I am unable to commit to anything. I’m committed to not being committed. I want to be committed, honest, I just haven’t found anything to be committed to. Except maybe Scott, if he’s lucky! 😉

Here is a list of things I have not committed to for longer than a year:

  • becoming a performer – this is still a work in progress. The timing has never worked out (just an excuse?)
  • writing a blog – the last one to document my travels
  • any job. ever.
  • any house I’ve lived in – possibly circumstantial but since I left home (9.5 years ago) I’ve stayed in only one city, for more than two years – here’s lookin’ at you Auckland!
  • studying – I studied Media Arts communication for five months before having to commit to a 3 year long program which I didn’t want a bar of. Saying I’d NEVER study again, three years later I wanted to be a naturopath so I gave that a whirl, for about five months before I discovered I should see a naturopath, not be one
  • healthy eating – still a work in progress as well, I guess. It’s on and off but overall I aim for it
  • having a pet – two cats have been “donated” to the SPCA because I was unable to look after them. It’s not that I didn’t want to look after them, it was because they were strays to begin with and had things happening to them that would’ve cost me lots of money to fix. I wormed them, I fed them, I gave them away.
  • surfing – super excited when I first started, got a wetsuit… and nothing else. I had visions of me in a station wagon, boards on the roof racks, a dog complete with tongue out the window, cruising to the beach for early morning surfs, after work surfs, weekend road trips with all my new surfing amigos…but alas…

You get the point.

The only real thing, that you could count, and I know this is a stretch: growing my hair out. I’ve been growing my hair out for YEARS! It got cut short when I was about 12 or 13 and since then it’s been mid length once, in dreads twice and cropped short again. Now it’s about mid way down my back and in the worst condition! I have split ends that have split ends, about 10cm of regrowth and the ends are dry and awful. I’d have got it cut but can’t quite afford the $75+ it costs to get a trim these days! It gets caught under my armpits, it takes forever to wash, it makes me hot when it’s down so all I really do with it is tie it up. It’s kind of a waste of a mane to be honest. So, in typical non-committal fashion, I’m thinking of chopping it off. Like, off off. Not quite shaved head off, but near enough. Can’t even commit to long hair.

Not committing to a career has been somewhat circumstantial; I’ve been “travelling” and also my marrying a Canadian and the consequential immigration palava that follows, has prohibited me from being able to settle in one place and think about what I really want to do.

Although there is no pressure from anyone to settle down, get a career and decide what I want to do forever and ever amen, I still feel the pressure every time I have to look for another job – my resume is shocking! I’ve basically done the same thing for the last few years in an administrative capacity but I’ve not stayed anywhere for longer than a year. I am what an employer would call “a progressive employee”. No, not an employee who is likely to progress through the business in an upwards fashion. Rather, an employee who will progress the heck outta here when they’ve learned the job and become complacent. I’m no employers dream. But the call of rent and food (and wine occasionally) forces me have to work these mundane jobs I’m more than capable of doing and it frustrates the hell out of me! It makes me realise I do want to commit to something so I can avoid this hop, skip and jump habit I’ve picked up. But what?! The not knowing seems to be more of an issue than the not committing.

Despite my circumstances, I ask myself and those of us who haven’t got a degree, chosen a career path, or somehow found a job we want to stick to – we’re nearly 30, what happened? Is it that we have too much choice these days that, when we do become complacent, we can simply pack up our desk and move on? So much choice that we don’t HAVE to commit to something? What is it that is causing this throw away attitude we have to picking a path and sticking to it?

I’m pretty sure it’s not just me… what do you think? Did life just get in the way of a career?