Tag Archives: flared jeans

bring back the flare!

shopping for jeans is not fun. unless you are a stick and can fit stove pipes onto your skinny little stick legs. You, whoever you are, without your curves and your extra 10kilos, consider yourself blessed. You’re bra size is probably the first letter of the alphabet so bra shopping is a treat as well. you freak…

No, but really, I know some lovely slim ladies who have curves and great legs and nice boobs and they still hate shopping for both these things.

I personally, unless I am 20kgs lighter, do not suit any other jean than a flare. They went “out of fashion” in the early 2000s because gazelles had stopped wearing them on runways. Forget the runways! Real girls were still wearing flares after those graceful beauties stopped. And they aren’t just for the hippy at heart. They are for the hippy at the hips!

I think, I am not sure – and don’t quote me on it, but the flare miiiight be coming back “into fashion”. If it does, and I think it will: circular fashion etc etc, I will buy ten pairs in three different sizes (due to inevitable weight fluctuation) and never, ever throw any away. To the hour glass lasses worldwide: for you I vow to buy them in different shades, different distresses, different colours and waist heights. I will set up a library type system where you can borrow my jeans for two weeks and return them in the same condition to me, for free. A small membership fee will apply.

OK, so I’ve thought the library system flare borrowing venture through (just now, this minute. Yes my creative thought process is one of a mad genius!) and decided that it’s maybe not the best idea. I don’t want your fanny to be as close to another girls fanny, doing god knows what you people do in your jeans! Even after a hot wash. Which isn’t the best idea, unless you lied about your size and have now stretched out my favourite Lee’s and popped off the button I was sure would NEVER fall off. GET YOUR OWN JEANS.


 Sorry for yelling.