Tag Archives: funny

Video

What I feel like doing most days…

 

So many reasons I love this video, mainly because it’s so clever. Bruno Mars is choice as and his songs are catchy. This one I find myself singing as I walk through the office when I don’t feel like working. Which is most days… 🙂

Enjoy xx

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Perception

It’s funny how in our mind’s eye we look a certain way, but then when we look in a mirror, it all seems completely skewed. Surely I look better than that?! I did when I left the house… bad lighting. Always blame bad lighting.

I blow dried my hair this morning (because it’s chilly and I don’t want to catch a death by waltzing around with a head of wet hair) and when I move my head it bounces a little. In my head I feel like my hair looks a little bit like this:

Image

When, in fact, it probably resembles something more along the lines of this…

Image

Logically, I know I don’t look like either of these slightly exaggerated images (I’m not a cartoon, or in my early fifties) but in my head I perceive that’s how I probably do look. Actually, that’s not really true either – in my head I have images of people that look more like me and not well known actresses or cartoon drawings – Google can only do so much.

I really have no point here. I’m sorry you got this far to get to absolutely no kind of conclusion. This is how my mind works; I make no apologies. Except for that one I just made…

As a peace offering for leading you astray, I offer you an audio gift. Here’s what I be listening to right now – funk for my Friday. Woo! Enjoy 🙂

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfhDqIVUpSg

She can’t stop, she won’t stop…

My goodness me if I’ve heard nothing but Miley Cyrus’ name bandied about on social media, tv and radio. Holy moly! 

I loved her as Hannah Montana and I am not ashamed to broadcast that. I enjoy her music now because I generally like pop music. And I find her interesting in a strange “like a car crash, can’t look away” type way.

It’s been entertaining listening to the back lash since “that twerking incident on MTV that people WILL NOT stop talking about”. So I’m jumping on the bandwagon 🙂

What a follower… 

The blog I’m about to link is kind of outrageous and a bit mountain out of a mole hilly, but I really enjoyed reading the comments. It’s quite fun to watch comment battles unfold online. Everyone has something to say and it’s gonna be a winner or it’s gonna go down like a cold cup of sick. I like to sit on the fence with just about everything so I’m not going to pass judgement on what Miss Cyrus did that fateful night. I just don’t care enough to.

Here is the blog that has many a head spinning: http://bellejarblog.wordpress.com/2013/08/26/on-miley-cyrus-and-racism/#comments

you may have noticed…

I have not posted in a while – sorry! I have started a side line project to map my cave man eating ways so I think my energy has gone more into that than on good old day to day blogging. So, here’s a story – inspired by a sight I’ve been seeing in the sky in the mornings…

Once upon a time, I lived with my sister and her boyfriend in a massive house in West Auckland, he had a German Shepherd named Jake. One morning I lay dozing in bed after a long shift at Hell Pizza, making tasty slices for the masses the night before when suddenly I was awoken from my slumber by incessant barking. What was that bloody dog barking at so intently?! 

I flopped myself out of bed to go and yell at Jake to shut the f*@k up – didn’t he realise I was sleeping?! I pounded down the carpeted stairs and through the kitchen, out to where Jake hung out on the back deck. There he was barking his head off like a mad thing. I growled him a little for being so loud and got him to sit down and be quiet.

Happy with my authoritative ways, I sent myself back to sleep for some much needed shut eye. Back in bed, all tucked up, warm, cosy… but then… more barking!! 

Threw myself out of bed again to do more yelling at the dog, this time I put him in his kennel and scalded him for stealing precious sleep hours from me. He looked sorry, but I don’t think he was. Before I could even get back in the sliding door, closer to warmth and restfulness, he was at it again! 

So, like a sleep deprived mental case, I start asking him “what are you barking at?!” Jake, of course, didn’t answer me but just kept barking and jumping back and forth. I would make a terrible friend for any rescue dog because I cannot speak dog. 

He wouldn’t stop barking so I just gave up and went back inside.

Back up to bed, Jake still barking, me grumbling about sleeplessness and something about dogs being stupid. Maybe he was barking at something? Maybe he knew something I didn’t? Maybe I should go back down there and say sorry for yelling at him?

Giving up, going back down there to be nice to him so he likes me again and as I step out of the sliding door, the sun is blinding me and Jake is still barking…I look up and right there, high up in the sky is a hot air balloon. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He was barking maniacally at a hot air balloon! I guess it’s not every day a dog sees a hot air balloon! Naturally you’d get excited. Wouldn’t you? I have been every morning when I see the resident rainbow ‘loon hanging from the quiet and still, blue morning sky. The sun is not fully up but it’s light enough for anyone up that high to be having a surreal morning experience.

Photos were taken two days ago but the balloon is so far up that my camera doesn’t do it justice. I took another one today and will post it later on.

 

bring back the flare!

shopping for jeans is not fun. unless you are a stick and can fit stove pipes onto your skinny little stick legs. You, whoever you are, without your curves and your extra 10kilos, consider yourself blessed. You’re bra size is probably the first letter of the alphabet so bra shopping is a treat as well. you freak…

No, but really, I know some lovely slim ladies who have curves and great legs and nice boobs and they still hate shopping for both these things.

I personally, unless I am 20kgs lighter, do not suit any other jean than a flare. They went “out of fashion” in the early 2000s because gazelles had stopped wearing them on runways. Forget the runways! Real girls were still wearing flares after those graceful beauties stopped. And they aren’t just for the hippy at heart. They are for the hippy at the hips!

I think, I am not sure – and don’t quote me on it, but the flare miiiight be coming back “into fashion”. If it does, and I think it will: circular fashion etc etc, I will buy ten pairs in three different sizes (due to inevitable weight fluctuation) and never, ever throw any away. To the hour glass lasses worldwide: for you I vow to buy them in different shades, different distresses, different colours and waist heights. I will set up a library type system where you can borrow my jeans for two weeks and return them in the same condition to me, for free. A small membership fee will apply.

OK, so I’ve thought the library system flare borrowing venture through (just now, this minute. Yes my creative thought process is one of a mad genius!) and decided that it’s maybe not the best idea. I don’t want your fanny to be as close to another girls fanny, doing god knows what you people do in your jeans! Even after a hot wash. Which isn’t the best idea, unless you lied about your size and have now stretched out my favourite Lee’s and popped off the button I was sure would NEVER fall off. GET YOUR OWN JEANS.

BRING BACK THE FLARE!!!

 Sorry for yelling.