Never say never. I bloody love Radiohead when I’m feeling a bit “meh” and there are too many clouds in the sky. It suits my mood to listen to them and I find myself singing along and feeling all wrapped up in the melancholic meandering that it is.
I used to say I hated Radiohead. They depressed me. Thom Yorke was nothing spesh, not compared to the likes of Maynard James Keenan (lead singer of Tool) my favourite singer ever. I was 16. OK, maybe 19? I knew beautiful rock lead singer goodness when I heard it and no one was going to tell me any different. Not you, Tim I forget your last name, with your long hair and your tortured soul and your not so secret crush on your best mate’s bi-sexual girlfriend. You and your love of Dr Suess is not credible and this conversation is over.
In my mid 20s, I learned to love them. Today I feel a bit like there are too many clouds in the sky so who better to listen to than Radiohead? Surprisingly, it makes me feel better to listen to them. It used to make me feel SO depressed to hear even just the start of a song that wasn’t Creep. Because everyone likes Creep. It doesn’t even matter that it’s the most well known song from a band you “hate”. It’s good rock music etiquette to love that song.
Here is one of their bestest songs; such a good one to turn up really freakin’ loud and just wail along to…
Posted in every day life
Tagged bands, clouds, Creep, Dr Suess, Fake Plastic Trees, love, Maynard James Keenan, melancholy, moods, Radiohead, rock music, sadness, Thom Yorke, Tool
Yesterday was not a good day for me. I was snappy, tired, lacking energy, motivation and the will to carry on. OK so the last part is a bit dramatic but I am SO over this job and just want it to be over.
I handed in my notice on the 1st of November, making my last day the 30th of November. I have two and a half weeks to go but I have seriously lost the will to do this job. My chair lacks foam cushioning so even just sitting here all day is a pain in the bum! Literally! And my employers are too cheap to invest in a decent chair for me as that was an investment they made quite some time ago and aren’t prepared to invest again any time soon because it’s not in their budget. Their staff are not really in their budget apart from our wages.
Anyway…hating is not helping.
I struggled through the day yesterday, longing to be outside in the glorious sunshine and 21 degrees mother nature was sharing with us. My breakfast smoothie tasted like plastic so I had to throw it out to then eat cornflakes and milk – both “no-no’s” on my paleo list. First fail. Then lunch was no better as the dressing I’m using is starting to taste like poison after having taken sugar out of my diet. This item has sugar in it and it cuts my taste buds! The egg for my lunch salad was not boiled to perfection and parts of it looked like mucus which made me want to gag with every mouthful. Second fail. The rest of the afternoon I felt like snapping at anyone that talked to me; I think I did well not to snap, actually. Small win. When I got home I put on my exercise clothes and prepared to do a Jillian Michaels workout but the computer is old and was struggling as much as I was to work. Third and final fail. So I gave up on that, cooked a piece of bacon and fried an egg, ate it and lay down on the couch, watching Rick Steins Mediterranean Adventures. I heart that man – always something interesting to say. Though, he does look like a man who could snap at any minute…
An hour later I was asleep. I had slept fine the night before so realistically I shouldn’t have been tired. But I’m SO drained, mentally, physically and emotionally from this job. It’s stealing precious positivity from me and I resent the crap out of it! All I felt like doing yesterday was curling up and going to sleep and forgetting about the world. I don’t know about you, but this sounds like a symptom of depression! I’m not being OTT here, I don’t actually feel depressed but I am stressed which is leading to a bit of a Ctrl+Alt+delete situation. I’ve experienced this before and I get through it to the end but once it’s over, I crash. It’s not pretty.
BUT!!! Silver lining!!! I am married to a bloody rock of a man who has endless patience for my bitching and moaning! I woke up from my nap with him on the other couch, quietly munching on a pear and playing on his smart phone. He had even bought me a wee present – the Jamie Oliver 30 min meal cookbook I’ve wanted for over a year now. Such a gem!! He knew I’d had a bad day and that I’ve hated my job for months so his attempt to cheer me up was in lieu of this. It worked 🙂 I love Jamie Oliver and those 30 min meals are delicious!!! I gave Scott a hug and a kiss and shed a few small tears saying “I’ve had too many bad days lately”.
The nap and the present had me feeling more like myself so I cooked dinner even though it was Scott’s turn. After dinner we went for a walk around the lifestyle blocks that surround our street and when I got home I watched the rest of the Sex and the City movie. A shitty day had turned into quite a nice evening.
Sleep, love and cook books – all so good for the soul.
Posted in every day life
Tagged bad days, cookbooks, depression, food, husband, jamie oliver, jillian michaels, love, mental-health, mother nature, rick stein, sadness, sex and the city, silver lining, stress, stressed, work
This blog is supposed to be a forum. So, I want to put it out there to all the ladies in the world (or just the 3 I know read this): what do you do for your husband?
I don’t mean the domestic/household type things like laundry and vacuuming and cooking and sex. Is that last one a chore? It shouldn’t be…it just slipped in there.
I mean, we secretly wish that they would do wonderful, creative, and over the top things for us spontaneously. But do we do this for them?
I ask because this weekend, tonight actually, I am surprising Mr Jenna (Scott) by taking him to a 4.5 star hotel I booked a couple of weeks ago. I’m packing a bag with a change of clothes incl. his pj’s and some board shorts for quality time in the spa pool at the hotel. I’m picking up some beer for him and treats for watching a movie in the KING SIZE BED and splashing out on room service for dinner. And I’m leaving him to it. Haha! No… I will be there too.
He is none the wiser (and doesn’t read this blog). The reason I’m doing it is to say congratulations on three months of not smoking and thank you for coming to NZ and leaving everything you knew as well as working a shitty job for the first three months after you got here. He went cold turkey on the smoking the day he arrived in the country and was a car groomer up until two weeks ago which he HATED. Back story: he’s Canadian. We met in Canada while I was travelling, we fell in love and I couldn’t get an extension on my visa so we got married and then a week later I had to leave. Five months apart before he could get to NZ and was almost a pack a day smoker before arriving.
As well as the night in the hotel, the soak in the spa and the room servicey goodness, I have a lunch booked at a little tavern in wine country near where we live for the day after – also a surprise.
In a way I am reinforcing his will to give up smoking by rewarding him for the massive feat, but at the same time, I really love to treat my husband and show my appreciation that he is in my life. And, for me, getting excited about planning surprises for Scott and having someone in my life to do this for makes me really happy.
But enough about me…I just wanted to put it out there – to ask what you, the wives/girlfriends/life partners are doing for your male significant other? Tell me, I’m ever so curious.
Posted in every day life
Tagged beer, Canada, canadian, cold turkey, girlfriend, hotel, husband, king size bed, love, marriage, married, sex, smoking, surprises, wife, wives
I think only the truly talented, or the really bitchy, know how to write a good blog. Or people with actual things to talk about. I am none of these.
Without having much to talk about – like, a particular topic for the whole blog to be based around – this will be about all the things I would talk about if I had someone who devotedly and unquestionably LOVED everything I had to say. And I mean EVERYTHING. Or cared about EVERYTHING I did. On a regular basis.
Sure, I have a husband who kind of loves everything I say and do. But I know it’s only because he loves me that he might say that (I’ve never heard him say that). He doesn’t sit with his chin cradled in his hands, lying on the floor, legs crossed at the ankles while he stares up at me with wide eyes and intrigue – waiting for me to start speaking about my day. It’s like mother love: because he has to. (And because I cook amazing things for him to eat and have sex with him.) I actually know he doesn’t whole heartedly love my every thought – and it’s OK. Same goes.
Maybe someone else will. Or no one will. Either way, I’ll write it.
Follow, comment, share, erase from your history – I don’t really care. Most of all, know that I am pretty much just like you but, instead, I say it out loud. Or rather, I type it.