Yesterday was not a good day for me. I was snappy, tired, lacking energy, motivation and the will to carry on. OK so the last part is a bit dramatic but I am SO over this job and just want it to be over.
I handed in my notice on the 1st of November, making my last day the 30th of November. I have two and a half weeks to go but I have seriously lost the will to do this job. My chair lacks foam cushioning so even just sitting here all day is a pain in the bum! Literally! And my employers are too cheap to invest in a decent chair for me as that was an investment they made quite some time ago and aren’t prepared to invest again any time soon because it’s not in their budget. Their staff are not really in their budget apart from our wages.
Anyway…hating is not helping.
I struggled through the day yesterday, longing to be outside in the glorious sunshine and 21 degrees mother nature was sharing with us. My breakfast smoothie tasted like plastic so I had to throw it out to then eat cornflakes and milk – both “no-no’s” on my paleo list. First fail. Then lunch was no better as the dressing I’m using is starting to taste like poison after having taken sugar out of my diet. This item has sugar in it and it cuts my taste buds! The egg for my lunch salad was not boiled to perfection and parts of it looked like mucus which made me want to gag with every mouthful. Second fail. The rest of the afternoon I felt like snapping at anyone that talked to me; I think I did well not to snap, actually. Small win. When I got home I put on my exercise clothes and prepared to do a Jillian Michaels workout but the computer is old and was struggling as much as I was to work. Third and final fail. So I gave up on that, cooked a piece of bacon and fried an egg, ate it and lay down on the couch, watching Rick Steins Mediterranean Adventures. I heart that man – always something interesting to say. Though, he does look like a man who could snap at any minute…
An hour later I was asleep. I had slept fine the night before so realistically I shouldn’t have been tired. But I’m SO drained, mentally, physically and emotionally from this job. It’s stealing precious positivity from me and I resent the crap out of it! All I felt like doing yesterday was curling up and going to sleep and forgetting about the world. I don’t know about you, but this sounds like a symptom of depression! I’m not being OTT here, I don’t actually feel depressed but I am stressed which is leading to a bit of a Ctrl+Alt+delete situation. I’ve experienced this before and I get through it to the end but once it’s over, I crash. It’s not pretty.
BUT!!! Silver lining!!! I am married to a bloody rock of a man who has endless patience for my bitching and moaning! I woke up from my nap with him on the other couch, quietly munching on a pear and playing on his smart phone. He had even bought me a wee present – the Jamie Oliver 30 min meal cookbook I’ve wanted for over a year now. Such a gem!! He knew I’d had a bad day and that I’ve hated my job for months so his attempt to cheer me up was in lieu of this. It worked 🙂 I love Jamie Oliver and those 30 min meals are delicious!!! I gave Scott a hug and a kiss and shed a few small tears saying “I’ve had too many bad days lately”.
The nap and the present had me feeling more like myself so I cooked dinner even though it was Scott’s turn. After dinner we went for a walk around the lifestyle blocks that surround our street and when I got home I watched the rest of the Sex and the City movie. A shitty day had turned into quite a nice evening.
Sleep, love and cook books – all so good for the soul.